Twenty

Everybody I know (2004 batch) is already Twenty-one!

I dont have a passport.
I am listening to TZP songs.
I love kids a lot.
I want to watch TZP, but am unable to get the movie torrents.
I dont know how to drive a car (Okay, no two wheelers as well except for a cycle!).
I am in Pilani, Pilani is cold.

I am, till date: twenty years + 7 months + 9 days old.

Tired

Recently started realising that saying "I dont know" is so much less tiring than living with every moment of the thought.

Al Gore and Dr. Rajendra Pachauri

Ghost in the Shell

I wanna watch, I wanna watch.
Please get downloaded fast. Veoh rocksssss!
Anime rocks!
Japanese people are simply superbbbbbbb. Kudos to their innovative ideas, to their thoughts.
I wanna watch, I wanna watch!

Check:
Downloaded - 69/577.2 MB - 12.3%!
Download speed: 80 kbps (not bad at all!)

INNOCENCE - The essence of humanity(?!)

An Inconvenient Truth - Al Gore

A must watch. It's not a tale, or a myth, or a movie. It's an inconvenient truth that we perhaps ignore, or worse, try running away from.

Feels strange

Psentisem over (well almost!) and it wasn't until 2 days back that I really felt very strange (after reading what my friends wrote for me in my diary). The feeling of never having to attend classes in 3245, or the discussions with nuee, cycle rides and walks with her, sac-c time with hema, gen puting lacha in the astro room with her (though hardly ever cared to use the telescope)... perhaps the feeling of never again experiencing all that again contributed to that strange feeling. Strange... so feeling psenti? Don't I always, when comes the end?
For me, my third year forms a huge chunk of my BITSian life, maybe cuz that's when I enjoyed the courses (yes! which hardly ever happened in the first 2 years), met people who gave me a chance to develop admiration for them, talk to them, and have fun with them. The first four semesters really are a faded memory, something perhaps worth forgetting, for I did nothing. Not that I did something in my 3rd year, but sure enjoyed whatever happened in that period.
Not that I am being pensive for having to let go of the past three years, just that the memories now bring a smile to my face. As much as I anticipate that I'll miss this place, the enthu of going faaar faaar away and getting new experiences, is equal in intensity, or maybe more.

A feeling mixing smiles of the past with apprehension of the future, sorrows of the past with joys of the future, lessons leart from the history with those to be learnt in the future.

Feels strange.

JAP

MUSIC!
ANIME MUSIC!
JAP ANIME MUSIC!

CUTE!

MOU SUKOSHI!

Life...

... A random number generator(?).

Latched

She unlatched the door, went in and latched it from the inside.

The water was warm enough, warm enough for her to take bath in the cold winter evening. The day was too busy, her shoulders were aching, eyes were sore and hands were tired beyond limits.

She went inside the bathtub, there was no cork, there never was. She closed the tap, the bucket was full, the water was warm... no, it was hot. She untied her hair, and fixed her grip on the closed tap. She took head bath.

She was free now. Atleast for a few days. She had taken leave to attend her college friend, Mita's marriage. It was a long time since she'd met her, just a few mails... roughly twice in 4 months is all they exchanged in last 3 years. They'd been "best" of friends then, they'd been roommates, shared everything... joys, sorrows, jokes. They'd shared their world... Mita's world. She remembered how Mita had been back then, so lively, smart and pretty. She had a way with words, could keep anyone engaged in a conversation for hours long, she could go on and on talking about anything. She was a very enthusiastic girl and used to laugh so very often, no wonder she had a huge fan following. When teased about it, she used to just say "Me and him? Its like a princess and a hippo!". For Mita, crushes were like flavours, you need to try as many as possible without getting addicted to any, and if you find yourself not getting bored of a particular taste, then, that's the flavour for you! She didnt like Mita's attitude, told her how many hearts she'd break with this funda of hers, but Mita always used to say "You take life too seriously, take off your glasses and clear your view, untie your hair and let it fly, break the barrier girl, what's with you and your cold nature? I sometimes wonder, if you fake that you dont have any feelings, or are you actually this cold to people!". She'd just laugh and say "Haha Mita, hasnt god given my share of warmth to you? As you say, Lite lo! We've got an assignment to submit, remember? Will get back to it now!". Mita would jump in her own bed and say "I'll copy your assignment tomorrow, am off to sleep, I guess you can only fall in love with your assignments, atleast take off your goddam grandma glasses, you look really horrible in them, get designer ones".

Designer ones... now she'd gotten rid of her grandma glasses, wore contact lenses now. Yes, she'd changed in these three years, as in, her looks, the way she interacted with people, her boosted professional attitude, but from the inside, she was still the same... as Mita put it... cold... not to herself... but cold... to people. Mita never discovered that. Nobody did. She just wasnt verbose enough when it came to her self.

Mita's wedding, she wasnt very excited about it. Just that she got a break, it felt nice. There was no hurry. She decided to enjoy her bath. No hurry at all. She refilled her bucked with water. She sat cross-legged in her bathtub and dipped her hands and elbows in the water. Water was warm-hot. It was burning her skin a little. Did she really mind? She actually felt nice, it was cold outside. Naah, not that cold, it was just the onset of winter. Not that cold. But she felt nice, her hands gradually became warmer. She kept staring at her hands, how funny they looked, once inside the water, waving, getting distorted by the water ripples, getting wrinkled... she felt her hands... her palms getting numb, they no longer felt warm. Equillibrium. Damn! She hated it. She hated it cuz she didnt understand it. She didnt understand why at all should there be uniformity. Should she be like Mita? Why? What is nature's problem if her hands stayed colder than the water here? Why cant it let it be? Was she angry? Angry at nature? No, she wasnt, infact, this wasnt even bothering her. Why did she always escape? Why didnt Mita try to dig her as hard as she did with Mita? Why was she so cold to people? Why, couldnt she open up to Mita? Mita was a good friend, who never laughed at anyone, she was not a sadist like others in her wing. Mita had tried to pull her out of herself, but had failed. That was because, she herself always had put the thought away, she always convinced herself that the person she wanted didnt exist.

But he did. She felt her back getting cold. She pulled her elbows out of the water, crossed them over each other and placed her head over her right arm. Her face was cold. She touched her neck, it was colder. Or was it that her palms were warm? As if she cared. She placed her arms back in the water and dipped her head in the water. It was all translucent, she could barely see her palms. A few strands of hair fell in the water. She was getting breathless, so lifted her head and took a deep breath. A few locks of hair still remained in the water, she looked at them. How funny they looked. Once inside the water, they wouldnt stay together, but the same water glued them together outside. She saw how her hair "flew" in the water. She gently touched a few "flying" strands, they simply "flew" more. It was funny but amusing. She felt free. Is this what Mita meant? No. Mita didnt talk of this freedom, Mita didnt even know if this kind of a freedom existed. Or, did she? She didnt care now. She felt synonymous with the way her hair behaved in presence of water. She would free herself to herself once inside, she would fly when nobody's around, but outside, she'd stick back to one piece and be the predictable and productive one. She didnt want to think about him. Why should she? After 3 years, when she didnt even know where he was, what he was doing... she did want to think about him. He had touched her where nobody ever did and she wondered if anybody ever could. It had taken her quite a while to talk to him, to laugh with him, to actually like him, perhaps a whole year. Did that matter anyways? He had beautiful thoughts, beautiful stories to tell, nobody could ever touch and stimulate her mind like he did. Yes, she talked with him almost as much as she did with Mita, but there always was a barrier. She was always very controlled with him as well. Sometimes she felt the strange tension developing between them, but then, she would just turn oblivious to it. Did he too? Did he like her? Maybe he did like her, and she did too, but like a true friend. Who was she kidding? The wait. Perhaps it was too long. He was a beautiful person, not with striking looks, as Mita used to comment when all three used to gen put lacha "I would've made you my boyfriend, if you looked better". He used to say "My good luck that I am not!". She always had a strange satisfaction that he never fell for Mita, she secretely thought of him as her possession. She realised that he had not only touched her mind, but her heart as well. She wished she'd touched him too.

She took the mug and poured the water over her head. Did that over and over again till all the water got finished. She sat there for a while. Her body dried. It was not hot anymore. She never was. She started shivering a bit. It was cold. She was getting cold.

She was cold. She wrapped the towel around herself and latched the door again...
...wondering if anyone will ever be able to open it.

Decoat(d)ing

CYS? IDKWTIHTM - O - ITWYADTM? IDK - BIDC. CYS?

Duck

She used to go to the pond daily. Water was something that always awed her. The fragile ripples looked very beautiful, when that duck paddled its way through the water. It had been almost two months since she'd been going to the pond every afternoon and staying there till dusk. It used to take her nearly half an hour to cut through the woods and reach there. She enjoyed the solitude accompanying her walk. She felt at peace by the pond, after a hectic day at home, chopping vegetables, drying the clothes washed by mom, and all little chores that her little hands could handle. She loved her summer vacation, when she could come to her grandma's home, talk to her, listen to the stories of her childhood, count the number of wrinkles on her hand when she held her hand and gently patted it. She just loved the little village that was close to the woods. She loved the little rabbits prancing around and the playful monkeys jumping on the trees.

She loved animals, and no wonder she developed affection for the duck she daily used to observe. She liked to imagine it being a pretty swan floating on the water gracefully. Perhaps because she liked swans better or maybe because the story of "the ugly duckling" kept repeating in her head whenever she sat by the pond. She had this feeling that maybe this was not a duck after all, maybe with time this duckling will grow to be a gorgeous swan that she so loved to look at.

Today she came to the pond a little earlier than usual. She brought her dairy as well. She loved to write. She sat down on the trunk of the huge fallen tree that just touched the waters. She let her feet dip in the pond and slowly get spongy. She thought it was funny sight, the way the veins start showing when the feet were kept in water for a long time and appear like some water animal. She felt that maybe if she stayed in water for long, she might also become a water animal, like she had studied about whales being mammals who adapted themselves to the environment and survived. She felt that she wouldn't mind being a fish. And since this was a small pond, there would be no sharks to eat her. She thought that if she became a fish, she'd want to have the memories of her being a human being, so that she could make new fish friends and tell them her stories. But then, she thought that if she became a fish, she wont be able to meet her mom, for her mom wasn't as much a water lover as her. And anyways, there were fishermen in the village, what if she would be caught one day while telling the story of her grandmother being chased by a wild dog, when she was 8? She thought that she should meet the fishermen and tell them that they ruin fish families and ask them how they would feel if the same thing happened to them? She wrote that down in her diary. She felt a bit sad and walked to the drier part. Removed her bag off her shoulders and kept the diary back in. She felt like stretching out a bit. Lest should she fall asleep, she put an alarm in her watch, of 5:15pm. She put her head on her bag and gazed at the sky. She imagined her swan flying with its white wings spanning the wide sky. And when she'd grow up, she would come and visit this pond and would find her swan being followed by little ducklings. And when she'd further age, she'll bring her kids and show them these little ducklings transform into beautiful swans...

"Wake up!" She opened her eyes and it all felt blurry. Oh, it was 4:45. She smiled at the man who came a sat beside her. He sometimes used to come with a packet of bread to feed it to the fishes of the pond and share some with her. He was a writer and she loved to listen to his stories.
"I saw a swan today", she told him.
"Really? But its not the season chimp, birds from the north come during winters, its your summer vacation remember? Where did you see it?"
"Yeah! But you told me the ugly duckling story nah, look at the duck there, it'll become a swan, I know it will"
"Sure kid, so it means that you'll also become a rabbit cuz you resemble one!"
"Oh no, I am serious, if that ugly duckling can become a swan, why cant my duck become one too?"
"Its a beautiful thing to imagine, really amazing that you can think of such wonderful things rabbit, but imagine, how would you feel if you very badly wanted to have a chocolate that you thought was kept in the fridge but when you went there, it wasn't there?"
"Oh, I would kick my brother for having eaten it"
"What if he says that he didn't and tells you that you imagine way too much?"
"I'll probably cry and tell mom that he stole my chocolate"
"What if your mom says that she'll buy a chocolate tomorrow for you for she didn't bring any for a whole week?"
"But why would I talk of my chocolate if it wasn't there?"
"You saw a swan today right?"
"hmm..."
"The ugly duckling didn't look like a duck. That's the reason he was sad. Because he was the odd one out, this "oddness" pointed out by the others made him feel awkward about himself and he ran away. Here, what do you think about the beautiful duck swimming there? Do you want it to run away"
Trrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnn
"No, I don't want it to run away. Hey, its 5:15, my alarm rang. Let get going."
"Sure, but remember, If a bird looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck."

PS : "If a bird looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck" - Borrowed this old saying from people who've been using this as their sm!

Death

Things just didn't seem to make sense anymore. Wherever he turned his head, he saw so many people but rarely anyone with a different face. Everyone seemed to be wearing the mask designed by a popular company called "Humanity - we are one". And the masks manufactured were of same design and color. Whenever he felt like removing his, he was told that its not to be removed, for if he did, he wont be able to survive in this world. He wanted to scream "What's the point of survival, if every single moment I want see the world through my own eyes, and not through this mask? Is that what my life is meant for? Mere survival?". But he never screamed. This mask was always there to rescale the decibel level back to the range specified by the company.

He was tempted many times, to throw off the mask. In fact, he wanted to see what death was like. What was so scary about it. He had seen people die. He knew that once they died, they never lived again. His friend had cried when his grandma had died. He saw many crying faces. He saw the faces then. But at that time nobody said anything when the mask was removed. Not a thing.

The memory came back to him. He brought his hand to this mask and felt it. He almost removed it when he felt a strange kind of fear grip him. This mask had given him fair amount of joys, friends, love, care, and what not. What if "non - survival" was too painful? What if he wanted to wear it again, and it refused stick back? What if he also wanted to live like he lived before but just couldn't? What if he died? Are these things being spoken by him or the mask? He didn't care, for he was scared. He decided not to remove the mask.

He heard the mask whisper to him: "Wise choice".

Sparsh

Mujhe bhi andhaa ban na hai

Sparsh (the touch)
A beautiful story of love, ego, consuming insecurities, misunderstood intentions, relationships... its the story of an institution for the blind and the lives glued to it.
Sparsh, one simple caring touch, can so beautifully change one's life and the whole perception of it, enlightening the world around, simply by adding warmth and care to the relationships.

Kavita (recently widowed) and Anirudh (principal of the special school) both dwell in their own world of darkness, one by closing herself to the world and drowning herself in the misery of her lost one, and another, who though very self-reliant and independent, by being consumed in self pity. Anirudh is very much drawn to Kavita, but his ego and his doubts don't let him see the love (which he mistakes to be pity) she develops for him as time moves on. It takes both of them a while to discover each other (and themselves) finally helping themselves step out of darkness and restarting their lives in a new light.

Little stories (touching upon "friendship") that revolve around this main line also have a major say in the story. In the middle of the movie, the relationship between two kids (friends actually, one of whom is "normal") slowly gets strained because of the advantages (extra care and love) that come with impairment. This is when the "normal" little kid says "main bhi andhaa ban na chahta hoon", when he feels that his is friend getting more attention and is being taken care of more, by Kavita aunty/ma'am (who he adores) and him being neglected. The word "normal" really loses its meaning. Even though this little guy has sight, he is ready to let go of that to be a part of that school, to be treated as one of those kids, to be loved and given attention to, by Kavita aunty. He just doesnt want to be an "outsider". Kavita also faces such situations where she is given an impression (by Anirudh) of being an "outsider" who couldnt understand the problems "they" undergo. Friendship again intrudes. Its this friendship between Kavita and her friend Manju, that ultimately helps Anirudh to forget that she is an "outsider", realise that he is loved for what he is, and to get back to his love.

A beauiful movie, must watch.

IMDb user comments

Serenity

Naah, Its not that bad!

I HATE DISCOs

Sorry, but I just dont have a feel for it.

Misunderstood

Your Intuition might be good, but not Intention.

No, my intention is not bad.

Of course, you wont do it if there's no personal gain.

No, its not true. BTW, it will be good for me as well, if I do it. I'm just so Lazy...(plus forgetful, which is the main problem)

A morning tiff over DC++

The Touch

Rabbit, Am I?

Rabbit Characteristics

Rabbit natives have sensitive caring natures and they are very creative individuals. Their gentleness seems to constantly attract people needing counseling, support and a shoulder to cry on. As a rule Rabbit people are quiet and refined, they are also well-spoken and elegant types with a strong sense of style. The Chinese attribute the emblem of longevity to the Rabbit, giving Rabbit people a link not only to long life but one full of quality. The Rabbit person is courteous, kind and diplomatic and also is a very sympathetic soul. Because of their refined and kind nature, some individual Rabbit people think they are not very strong, well quite the contrary. It takes a lot of strength to be gentle. It is only a misunderstanding that people who have gentleness have no courage. However their strength will shine through in other areas, they are very determined people; they always get what they want. Their sense of fair play is strong and while rules are merely rules to some people, the Rabbit native would prefer to abide by them.

If a Rabbit person holds your secrets rest assured they are safe. Rabbit people are also cautious types taking care before they make decisions, in particular they look before they leap (or hop). This inborn sense of caution allows them to be in control and aware at the same time. Some Rabbits are moody and it is surprising to Rabbits friends when they first encounter this in the Rabbit personality, (however their families are usually used to it). They can sometimes have a sharp tongue, which opposes their charming personality, again another shock to someone who experiences this for the first time in their usually sensitive friend. This is one of their techniques they have developed to make you squirm if they think you deserve it.

A tremendous ability the Rabbit has is to assess situations and other people, giving them more advantage than they are given credit for. With family and friends they will always be there with sympathy if it's needed and constantly willing to support their loved ones. Rarely judging, just shining with their qualities as a compassionate listener and great friend. This loving native will do what they can to restore peace and harmony where discord has interrupted lifestyles. Rabbit knows how to live well and will teach all the finer things life has to offer to their young. Children will always seek the love and tenderness of the Rabbit nature when needing support. They are wonderfully patient parents, listening to their children and recognising their children's needs.

They prefer to have long stable relationships and they are considerate and gentle lovers. inding a tranquil partner to spend their lives with is important to this native and when the family needs the Rabbit to listen they are all ears. They can be frightened easily by over sexual advances and need to feel safe when in love. Rabbits are not the one-night stand types; they prefer romantic candlelit dinners with their true love. The Rabbits traditional reasoning has boundaries that tend to make them reserved, so conspiracies disturb the quiet Rabbit nature. Regardless, they are survivors but they would prefer sensible compromise to confrontations. This nature is the peacemaker; a wonderful friend who is loyal but sometimes sets standards too high for some of their friends. The Rabbit is a terrific judge of character and they are rarely wrong in the assessment of a person and their intuition shows this. They are also very much in harmony with tomorrow. While others are cramming what they can into today, in case there is no tomorrow, Rabbit knows damn well there is a tomorrow. Always remember, Rabbit does not really like combat but if you push them into a corner they could bite your ankles very severely.

THE FIRE RABBIT--1927, 1987, 2047

Watch out, here is a character indeed, the Fire Rabbit. Full of life and ambition, the Fire Rabbit will never let an opportunity go by. Contrary to belief, the Fire Rabbit will be very affectionate and emotional, accompanied by a high level of intuition and charm. The Fire Rabbit cannot resist having fun, even at the expense of getting into trouble or letting their mask drop temporarily. They are inspirational and very progressive in their ways. They usually have a temper that flares up easily and they can turn neurotic at times. The Fire Rabbit also has a knack of always getting their own way, often to the amazement of the person who just gave it to them.

!

Confidence

Daffy notices a sign on a tree that reads "DUCK SEASON OPEN"
Daffy: "Devilishly clever..." (notices Elmer approching) "Uh,oh!" (runs off screen)
Elmer continues walking until he runs into Daffy (who is disguised as a rabbit).
Daffy: "What's up Doc? Having any luck on those ducks? It's duck season, you know!
Bugs then approches disguised as a duck.
Bugs: "Just a darn minute! Where do you get that "Duck Season" stuff?"
With a look of confidence, Daffy points offscreen.
Daffy: "Says so right over there on that sign, you're so smart."
The sign now reads "RABBIT SEASON OPEN".
Daffy: (still with a look of confidence) "You know what to do with that gun doc..."

Source: wiki on Rabbit Fire!

Broken Wings

Harini's Poem. Reminded me of a song which goes by the same title.

Broken Wings
[by Alter Bridge]

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
In our souls

Leave the peace alone
Now we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
In our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold
Are always first to go
And who's to say
We won't end up alone

[CHORUS]
On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
In the same place with all I love

Mend the broken homes
Care for them they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give
Will always carry you
And who's to say
We won't survive it too

[CHORUS]

Set a-free all
Relying on their will
To make me all that I am
And all that I'll be

Set a-free all
Will fall between the cracks
With memories of all that I am
And I'll that I'll be

Hmm

Am I really a MSc (hons.) Physics student, when I dont really understand:
> The Uncertainity Principle [A question was raised by a junior - is it about measurement or uncertainity is an inbuilt property? Read John gribbin's "Schrodinger's kittens and the Search for Reality" for details (not that I've read it, have not)]
> Energy [I dont like what was said in the yesterday's lecture, that matter and energy are associated, there is nothing like "pure energy", that it cant exist without the presence of matter]
> Tension in a taut string
> Vectors [Abstraction sure adds to the beauty (Group theory to be specific), but but but...]
> Gravitational effects being a result of special spacetime geometry (I dont know General Relativity)

Oh, and many many things supposedly trivial.

Am I really a MSc (hons.) Physics student?

High School Drama

Girl: I'm always here for you
Boy: I know
Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
Girl: Talk to her
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell.
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say
Girl: Tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily.
Girl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either.
Girl: She does
Boy: How do you know..
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You
Girl: You're wrong, I love you
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.

PS: Not my story!

Couloir

Lights off

The sun shines bright

Sweep Sweep Sweep
The sound of the road being swept

Eyes open
Head feels heavy

A deep whiff of air fills the lungs
A sigh?

Slumber broken
Threshold of another monotony

Glasses
Cant see without them

Cough Cough
Hands tremble

Rocking chair
Its comfortable

Eyes close
Its not dark

Lips curve
Yes, a smile

Hands held
The little girl laughs

He laughs with her
She runs

He runs with her
She runs too fast

He's old
He cant run as fast

She's far
He's let go

She turns her head and smiles
He smiles

She's far but not alone
She's holding someone else's hands

They're both far, waving at him
The old man waves back

Eyes open
Lights off
But the sun shines bright
Walk on the couloir was memorable
The mind just wishes to sleep peacefully now
Lips curve
Yes, a smile

Peace

Speechless

Godavari

Oh! Its a beautiful river. I still remember when we used to go to Tuni on Swarnajayanti/Rajdhani Express (don't really remember), the train used to go via Rajahmundy crossing the magnificent river. Huge river, which never ceased to awe me, and still catches my attention if someone talks about it. I remember, how my mom used to point towards the river and we used to gaze at for so long, till it used to be in our range of vision. My mom used to tell stories of her childhood, how she, along with her friends used to jump off a bridge while coming back home from school (she spent her childhood in MP) and how this particular river reminded her of her childhood days, reminded her, of that bridge. When asked if she never got injured jumping from such a huge height, she used to explain that the sand used to be very soft that it never hurt her and also, the height wasn't that great. She is always so full of beautiful stories! Sometimes I wonder, how different my mom's life had been at my age, and how different it still is. She's such a wonderful lady, so full of life, she awes me so so much (though I would never accept it in front of her, and would never even show her how much she inspires me. Its a different thing that our ideas don't match and we end up arguing most of the time). This bridge story of hers always makes me imagine her really doing that, and I guess, it's sort of funny imagining that situation, nevertheless , it really must have been a great experience for her. And oh, Godavari. Such a beautiful river.

I've never been a romantic person, but I still liked this movie: "Godavari".
Perhaps because, the river has been very beautifully captured, or maybe cuz I miss travelling in a train, or maybe cuz I liked the way the protagonists developed a liking for each other as they journeyed through the river, exploring each other's interests, getting into long talks and discovering themselves in each other's company. Or maybe because it was nothing of a "love at first sight" sort of thing. The strange thing is that, I had watched this movie about an year back, with Hemalathaa, and sadly, that time, I felt nothing. And this time, yesterday, when i watched it for hardly 45 mins, I liked it. I liked both the characters, the ferry, their contrasting nature, everything! Oh yeah, not only the central characters, everyone in the movie had an awesome role to play.

Nice movie. People into Romantic genre will like it.

How much is enough?

Photo taken from here

Rainbow

She was wearing a black dress. I saw her from my balcony. It was raining outside... very slightly... maybe it couldn't even be called a drizzle. The sound of wind passing through the leaves, the raindrops just wetting the evening road, made the atmosphere lively...

Tak tak tak tak
...the frequency of the "taks" increased as she ran. And slowly, the sound subsided. She was far away.

Black barely visible under the cover of Rainbow... is beautiful.

The little girl in black now was nowhere in sight. My ears searched for a sound resembling a "tak", but in vain. The rain ceased. Everything was still, lifeless. Silence reined. Maybe it was the deadening silence that made me have an insane desire of having a look at that girl... the girl in black. The thought was too tempting, to break the silence, somehow. No... to the break the silence by the "taks"... only... by the black dress only...

Tak tak tak tak

She came back... running... and clutching a colorful rainbow umbrella in her hand. I was still in my balcony and made an attempt to look at her face, my eyes made rapid movements to satisfy my unfathomable desire. I wished that she would lift her head so that i can see her, the girl in black, and lift, did she. And i saw, her umbrella... almost covering the black (dress)...

Black barely visible under the cover of Rainbow... beautiful!

PCS

Patni Computer Systems

Astonishing...

Yeah! it really is..

I have a very strange habit of sticking to computer excessively during the time of comprees, browsing through net, downloading music and ebooks, reading articles on people or science or cartoon strips or blogs.. wait! blogs!

Oh god! I love reading blogs.. maybe because, they tell you how actually a person is from inside. It exposes you to his/her world. The blogs which one writes, for the self, what the self feels at that point of time (or maybe at some other point of time) cant be false? Can they be? Well, i so hope the answer is NO, of course its not totally true which is a sad thing.

There are some blogs which have tons and tons of jokes and funny anecdotes/ stories.. some blogs which are like online diaries.. some studded with philosophical/analytical stuffs.. but all tell something about the person the particular blog is connected with.

Well, the thing which i noticed, is that, though different blogs seem different for each person, i can picture myself in their places. Okay, maybe our point of view may not be much in agreement, but the thing is that, they might make me wonder.. "yep, why is this also not possible?".

But now, what is even more astonishing is that..

Just read a post in a blog, which is a replica of the thoughts which i had in my mind (well, that'd be a few days back.. its there in my comp, but dint publish it, for the fear of seeming strange.. can this blog anyway get any stranger?), making me wonder, wow maybe i am not all that different.. maybe i am also like many other people in this world, who have exactly the same thinking!

Anyways, that post is still astounding me to a great great extent! So better start Qmech now.

Still astonished..

Shruti

7th dec 2006: Wrote this post then, 9 months back! Why publishing now? Ah gen, feel like. Been reading my unpublished posts on blogspot, and trying to recall why i didn't post them. But, i cant remember the reasons now! And btw, which and who's post had astonished me? I don't remember!

Shruti

A Whole New World

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

[Aladdin]

Placements

Phew, finally some break!

The last few days have been very tiring.. going for PPTs, writing tests (for 4 companies till now - Wipro, Infy, CTS and Satyam), getting shortlisted in two (Infy and Cognizant), and then finally getting selected in none (am pretty good at splooshing interviews, got an inborn talent for it)!

BTW, I was really not expecting to get shortlisted in Infosys, the reason being, my Wipro Apt had gone far better than the infy one (Infy mein, i'd left 'round 9 questions out of i don't remember how many in the verbal section). It was a bit disheartening initially to not see my name in the wipro list but then i was not even expecting it, given to the preparation that I'd made (didn't bother to pick up R S Agarwal, even before the tests, was reading C you see). Since I'd done okay in the logical and technical parts on the wipro paper and still dint make through, i felt that my verbal section went pathetically bad (i somehow knew that from the start, even before giving the test). And since I'd left 9 questions (Infy paper)that too in the verbal section (which am already weak in), i was almost sure that Infy is also gone. But miraculously, i was shortlisted! Maybe the non-verbal part crossed the cutoff (no sectional cutoff then?), and yeah, anyways, I'd almost completed that part, left 2 or 3, i guess (and anyways, if apts don't have the verbal part, they wont be this painful)!
Interview, oh interview! If someone would like to know, how could one sploosh an HR interview, that too Infy's HR interview. Ask me! All you have to do is, fumble while searching for your pen or you can even make a screeching sound while opening your folder to hand out your CV and further more when asked "tell me something about yourself", think a lot and speak less so as to make the interviewer feel that there is nothing special in you or you are bad at communication. See, so easy to lose such an easy opportunity!
CTS interview had not gone bad (at least i thought so, because, i had talked this time and he seemed to be listening, shot a few informal questions in between and ended the 30 minutes interview with a "I hope to see you again!"), but then, why would they select a non-techie for a tech job, when they have ME and BE people to recruit.
Yeah, this had left me shattered and i had become so morose at home, behaved as if i have committed a huge crime by not getting placed and even blamed the companies for being so partial (okay, Infy excluded, that toh i only had splooshed real bad). But now, its okay. All the anger has gone and things seem to make sense. That's cuz, firstly, MSc single degree students HAVE got placed in good companies, so can not blame them; and secondly, people have worked really hard for placements (unlike me, i should start picking up books now! Seriously, till now I've been lucky to get bad but okay grades, enough to make me eligible to sit for the companies; and though i have a bad CG, it's not extremely bad. Just around average).

Met Subhash sir today (regarding the project plan thing, deadline tomorrow), really has been ages since i lifted up the cosmology book. Like sir said when i told him about my splooshed interviews, "talk more and sound confident, this is what sells", am gonna do that only now onwards! Anyways, IBM is coming at 4! Dont know if they'll allow MSc students to sit for it. Whatever, now i am at peace, and wont get affected even if by chance, they dont allow MSc students. Afterall, they also have preset requirements.

Signing off (with an aching head --> lack of proper sleep)
Shruti

Window

Long time.

I've not been busy. And I've missed blogging so much.
Then why did i not blog? Been too lazy to type down a few words?
Yes.

I've met new people in a past few months. Some who showed me a new way of thinking, some who left me in awe and some who washed away my notions of how certain people should be like. Have i changed again? hmm, maybe not exactly, but yeah surely realised new things.
Like hema said, am talking a lot (something that i never did much of, before).

Placements almost started. Do i want a job? No, I dont. Then why am i sitting for them?
Just because am not sure of my future? because am not confident enough of going for phd? Because my parents want me to? yeah, but the weight attached to each of these factors is too low. Maybe that's why am not even working hard towards getting placed. Then why am i sitting for them? What happened to my belief of taking risks? Will i now try to escape? will i try to justify what i am doing now is more mature? No, I dont want to. If playing safe is called maturity, then i detest this kind of maturity. But still, i'll try acting "mature". WHY? WHY? WHY?

Some changes just hurt so much.

Friendship. I never had full confidence in this word. Maybe, i still dont. But staying away from home (though for a few weeks), made me realise how much people believe in it. How much some people value it. Sometimes, even i feel like having such friends. Of trusting someone 100%. But now, i surely have started having more faith in people. Atleast now, i share some things with people.

Some changes just lift up our spirits.

I wont say Kodaikanal made my personality take a full 180 degree turn, but it sure did add more to the way i think, how i view people, on what basis i judge them, and how i see life.

And... maybe... falling in love neednt be a big issue at all. Its just natural.

"You live in a dreamworld Shruti, snap out of it", i've heard that a zillion times, and now, when i see myself drifting away from my dreamworld, it just makes me laugh. I am just losing it. Please come back. Dont leave me.

Does entering the real world mean throwing away the dreams rather than making them a reality? It is more wiser? Damn, it is. Playing safe!

No, am not frustated, neither am confused (or maybe i am!). Just realised that i still do have my dreamworld and it sure is beautiful and alive. Maybe i am drifting away from it, but something is always there to pull me back. I dont know what attracts me to it again and again. Is it magical? Maybe...

Window!

Hem line

The day'd be bad only if you are awake to experience it.
-------------------------------------------------
The day'd be good only if you are awake to experience it.

Which side of the hem line do you choose?

Diarios de motocicleta

The Motorcycle Diaries



Simply beautiful...

Perception

A splash of water... and turbulance shatters the silence... Beautiful it is, the turbulance...

Silence, is what dominates the turbulence after sometime... Beautiful it is, the Silence...

Pen, Paper and Story

Started a new blog, which will contain stories that I write. Maybe a new way of expressing what I am thinking these days! Here is the blog:

Pen, Paper and Story

Existence

Another old post dated 2/7/07
Though the difference between then and now is i am not a 100% believer of that anymore. Old times have changed to new times and the percentage is seen to have undergone a lot of reduction in its value!

There is no word called 'Love'; there exist no Angels; want of 'Freedom' is chained by the 'want'; Shadows are, but real; to Hope, is to sweep the 'dust' under the carpet.. but the 'dust' still remains; And, I continue to exist.. like an Alien. (Do Aliens exist?)

Independence

...and he stood on his own two little feet

Stand out

Beautiful photos posted on this blog.

Freedom

...and up she flew, leaving behind the remnants of her broken shackles and withered wings; up she flew, as the sun shone brighter making her bid goodbye to the shadows of her past; up she flew, as a gentle breeze touched her and sun smiled with all its warmth; up she flew, and the remnants of her broken shackles and withered wings, lay forgotton...

How to Be a Hero

How to Be a Hero

Just another web-test, I happen to be a wizard [and bored and apparently hit by insomnia too]:

Click - Part 1
Click - Part 2

My Inner Hero - Wizard!



There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.


Wanna check what kind of a hero you are?
Click here and take the test
How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

Did i say it twice? Well, maybe its time for me to sleep! [3:30 am now]

Shruti

Love

Insomnia + Unemployment is a deadly combination for unintended thoughts to invade one's mind!

Oh, did I mention that its 1 am, i am not sleepy and am totally jobless?!

Of late, I've been reading a lot [Blogs to be more specific] and what strikes me, is, how alike are the topics that go around in peoples' mind yet how different their perspective is, of looking at those very things. But naah! I dont want to think about that [maybe some other day] because that's not what i was thinking and i cant even recall why i wrote this particular paragraph!

Love

This is one word that demands respect, because I dont know what it means. And anything inexplicable, is to some extent, incomprehensible [that's why maybe its inexplicable?]

People often talk of love...

[sadly i never felt like taking part in any of those conversations, it always seemed such a waste of time, but now it makes me wonder...]

...talk of falling in love, of falling out of love, of a difference existing between puppy love (crushes) and true love... but they always seem to exclude parental/sibling/friendship love from their conversations... so when asked what about them, they go like 'arey, unki baat alag hai' [Translation: "Oh! that's a different issue].

[Okay, i may not be giving in my viewpoints when such a conversation pops up, but i cant shut my ears! Can I? Btw, its always fun to be an observer. Observers always get to witness the maximum fun! And its fun!]

Maybe the way a person comprehends love is not always the same as another person does. Love for a person [as told in the movies and a few of my friends seem to agree with that defination] might mean 'getting smitten by one's charms, or getting totally swept of one's feet' where 'charms' most of time means 'personality' which in many cases means 'the way one carries himself' which most of time means 'looks'! Its funny though, getting attracted to a person just because he/she looks good is like getting into a deep ditch voluntarily [you hardly know that person dude! He/she might be an anti-you when its comes to your opinion or whatever!]. Appearences maybe important to some extent [i.e if one doesnt want ugly kid(s)] but that being the sole reason of falling in love?! Okay, one may say that its impossible to know and understand a person in just one meeting and best way to judge him/her is by the impact he/she makes on you during that encounter. Here again, impact = charms!

For me, one time encounters are useless! They tell nothing [really have had experiences where seemingly intelligent people turned out to be drum-beaters and seemingly dumb and not so good looking people have 'smitten' me by their intelligence! Btw, if this gives an impression that i've ever fallen in love, then sorry to disappoint whosoever is reading this post [if any at all!] No, i never fell in Love, i dont know why but i still think its crap]. If you really want yourself to be swept off your feet, get acquainted dude, spend more time with him/her, I cant understand why one would want to be hit by a thundbolt in just one meeting?

Since, I've had no experience of being in love except for in my home [Parental/Sibling love] and college [Friendship], Love for me means :>>
being comfortable in their company and them also being the same, trying to understand them as they understand themselves and be tolerant enough to not question that, having the courage to leave them alone when they really want to be alone, having the guts to be cent percent truthful [no pretensions]... ie being compatible!

I cant think of any person with whom i'd want to be 'compatible' for now, so am happy having my own current list of 'People I admire'! I've given up using the word - 'Crush' cuz am now using - 'Admire' word in place of that! [for its very safe and crushes are after all admiration of some sort!] :D

Shruti

PS: Its 2 am now, sure took a lot of time write this teeny post! Btw, seems that i am blogging a lot!

Vaana

...and it rained!

and still the thunders are audible!

Chitapata chinkulu

This is the story of my friend

She'd always go out for a walk along with her friends in the evening. It was always refreshing to go out after a day of lectures and tutorials.

It almost had become a routine. The tutorial would end roughly at around 5:15 pm and they would all go out for a pleasant walk only to return hungry!

It was one of those evenings and the place being a hill station, a sudden light downpour was not so uncommon. Oh, how she loved rains! It always gave her a feeling of nature touching her, washing off her worries, gifting her a momentary joy of being lost, a feeling of rain purifying her... how could she not jump with joy on seeing little droplets land on her face?

One of the students suggested her to open her umbrella for there was a risk of catching cold. She told him that she loves rains and its okay. Anyways, it was just drizzling and they had almost reached the IIA campus!

Addu cheppade, Umbrella epudu
O vana, nuvvu vostanante...
[Translation: Umbrella never acts as a barrier if rain wants to seep in right through...]

Chitapata Chinkulu!
[Translation: Little raindrops!]

Maybe it was another of those days when it had started drizzling when they'd almost reached the campus. She decided to go to room first and then go for dinner. Suddenly it started raining hard! Oh, what fun it was, she got fully drenched outside her guest house and oh! what a feeling.

But alas! It was Kodaikanal and it was cold! I wasnt able to stop myself from shivering hard and clattering my teeth involutarily, the whole dinner time that day!

Yea! Chitapata Chinkulu!

Shruti

Travelblog [Four]

Brrr, dont you feel cold?
Kavya asked.

Naah, I am used to such weather. It goes way below this temperature back there in Pilani.
I replied.

It was probably around 12 or 13 degrees Celsius at that time.

The cab that we hired to take us further uphill to drop us at the IIA campus, revealed to us what beauty and what charm Kodaikanal held! Wow, I was still to be shaken from my reverie. It was all so beautiful- the trees, the view, the straight drive, the breeze, the path leading to the campus!

We finally reached the Evershed Hall [one of the Guest houses] located within the IIA campus where we supposed to report our arrival. After a few signatures and introduction with the guest house in-charge, we were directed to the Annexe [another Guest House] which became my home for the next 3 weeks.

IIA Kodaikanal campus, it in itself has nature captivated in its freshest form. Totally green, with flora in abundance and beautiful pine like trees lining the roads within the campus.. reminded me of me dreaming of being in such a place and then actually being there! It was almost like living my dream. I was so excited and so thrilled. I wanted to explore the whole campus right away!

The Annexe - Almost all the female participants had already reached there and it was fun getting acquainted with them, mainly because they all belonged to such a different part of the country and i was not even remotely aware how people of Kerela and Tamilnadu were like. Most of them were mallus, muslim mallus and tamilnadu christians, so it was amazing to interact with them, to get to know them. I suggested going on a walk, but the idea was voted out so we stayed there and enjoyed!

It was a great summer school filled with so many memories, anecdotes, and what not!
Those were almost the best 21 days of my life. The best one still being the 2 months training at NIO [National Institute of Oceanography], Goa.

Travelblog [Three]

A swish of cool air!

Ah! What a nice pleasant breeze! The bus started ascending and its ascent was accompanied by huge mountaineous rocks and a very pleasant breeze. It made me happily forget about the blazing sound of Mahabharata playing on the TV.

Up went the bus..

As we reached a considerable height, the view cleared..
Tall eucalyptus trees lined up in such beauty as if exhibiting nature's perfection.. cool breeze getting chillier and giving goosebumps.. clusters of human habitation partially covered by white foamy clouds giving just a hint of their existence.. music of the leaves rustling against the wind.. was I in heaven?

Apparently, yes!

Travelblog [Two]

5 hours
Said she. "It'd take us around 5 hours to reach there, sir said".

It was a very hot afternoon and unfortunately we'd chosen seats right next to blazing sound speakers and the west side window seats. So, it was a sunny as well as a noisy bus ride [and pretty uneventful] till we reached the bottom of the hill.

Travelblog [One]

The flight was scheduled at 10:10 am on 31st of may 2007. After the security check in, I called up my dad who was seated there at the lounge. This was the my first travel alone and it felt exciting to be where I was, getting to do things on my own [yeah right, reservation all done by my dad with the flight directly landing me into chennai and my friends picking me up there - and doing things on my own I say!]. The flight was delayed by half an hour and so had to wait there till the announcement was to be made. I waited.

At last!

Reached Chennai at around 1:00 pm, Anu and Preethi had come to receive me. Oh! they looked so different in there. Anyways, it was a 2 days fun stay there at Anu's place.
Me being a town girl, the feeling of being in a City hit me as soon as i reached there, with soaring commutation costs, long distances, auto people ever ready to dupe you [had really funny experiences], busy roads, huge traffic. Travelling in local trains was a nice experience though.

2nd june 2007, 9:30 pm
I was supposed to meet Kavya [one of the participants of "Kodai Summer School for Physics 2007" conducted by IIA] at Egmore station and was apparently a little bit late. Anyways, we'd never seen each other (corresponded only through mails and calls), and it was nice to finally meet her in person.

3rd june 2007, 6:00 am
Madurai reached. As advised by Dr. Sundar Raman [the coordinator of the summer school], we were supposed to reach Kodai somewhere around the evening time so that all the arrangements would be made before our arrival. So we stayed at Kavya's house till afternoon, had lunch there [in between went to Meenakshi temple] and then caught a bus to Kodai at around 1:30 or so.

Choose a Choice

12/18/06

Oh God! I was browsing through my drafts [unpublished posts] and stumbled upon this post. I dont remember why i hadnt posted that. It was written on 12/18/06. I dont know why I lost that thing in me - thinking till i get exhausted. I dont know why I am so satisfied these days. I dont know why I feel that I've changed again. I dont know why I want live and love life. I just dont know why I am so happy. I dont know why, now i dont even want to know the reason. I have changed, and am happy!

There is always a never-ending itching feeling persisting in my self. whenever i think of anything, anything at all, the whole thinking business leaves me unsatisfied.. because, in the end, everything seems meaningless and unfathomable. (Maybe i'm a bad thinker! because thinking about this also leaves me inconclusive in the end :)).

Yeah, I exist and am Alive.. So what? Is it that big a deal? Can existence of 'some'thing or 'no'thing have this big a value? Why? Why is it important to feel the meaning of these words - "I Exist"? Doesnt it give rise to self importance? doesnt it kill the goodness in us? Because, (say) if i am in a sinking ship (poseidon!), i'll be more worried to save 'my' self more than anything else.

Love, hate, care, selfishness, altruism, joy, hurt...
maybe all these words cant really be differentiated.. maybe they are just dummy words used to strenghten the existence of these two words - "I Exist". Example: Love cant exist if there is no "I", and same goes for any other feeling. If "I" dont exist, then how will i know that 'love' exists or any other feeling for that matter?

All seem so justifiable and non-justifiable at the same time. Its all so confusing.

Yeah, I exist and am Alive.. So what? Is it that big a deal?
I exist because I was born (Its silly but is it false?). There many things and creatures that could have been born, but since they havnt taken birth, they dont exist. Its all in my hands to make my life big or small. There is always a choice. And if I dont make a choice, time will make it for me, because time doesnt wait for decisions to be made, it simply goes on and on. Its all about choice. The choice being: Having life is a big thing v/s many living things are also alive, so life is not a big deal. I choose the first choice.

Can existence of 'some'thing or 'no'thing have this big a value?
For me YES. Because even a small thing can influence our thinking and make us take decisions that we wouldnt have taken if they dint exist. Like, if in this world, pens hadnt been discovered, then I would have still used a pencil in the place of a pen (what a silly example!) But now again there a choice. The choice being: Everything has its own importance v/s Hunh? Value? Whats that?!

Why? Why is it important to feel the meaning of these words - "I Exist"?
The very fact that we exist is the reason why the meaning of these words - "I Exist" gain importance. Because, Life is a beautiful thing that happened to us. Yes, it is confusing sometimes, haunting sometimes, painful sometimes.. But still it is also fun, joy, happiness, love.. most of the times. Isnt existing a beautiful thing? I think it is. But now again there a choice...

But doesnt it give rise to self importance? doesnt it kill the goodness in us? Because, (say) if i am in a sinking ship (poseidon!), i'll be more worried to save 'my' self more than anything else.
Oh yes, It does give rise to self importance and no it doesnt kill goodness in us. Altruism takes birth when we place ourselves in the place of the person for whom we were going to do some 'good'. So when i am in a sinking ship, i cant place another drowning person in my place, because i am also already drowning! So since i already am in that position, i try to save 'My' self than anything else!

Maybe nothing is really wrong. Everything that is labelled 'wrong' has a justifiable reason behind it being NOT wrong, its simply pure statistics that goes against the justifiable reason, i.e, majority of the people are reluctant to accept that reason, and hence it becomes 'wrong'.

Oh great! So if i Steal, then i am doing no wrong?
YES! When i am stealing, i am stealing because either
- I am in dire need for it, and have no money to buy it.
- I have the money, but hell.. why should i waste my money when i can steal it!
- She stole that from me, she should know how if feels to lose something (revenge hunh?).
- Dont blame me.. i am kleptomaniac, so it is justified if i gen 'pick' up things!

Hey not bad! so i can go ahead and steal! right?
NO! What about the person from whom you stole?
- She must have worked so hard to get it.
- She must have been so happy to gain it and losing it may pain her.
- Oh! it was a gift from a person i value the most. How can anyone steal it? (sob)
- God! It was so expensive. It was my bro's and he's gonna kill me!

Wait! Then what am i supposed to do? Should I be self-oriented and go for the 'YES' or should I be good and go for the 'NO'? There is always a choice, and I choose the 'NO'. I choose this choice not because i'm good, but because i know how it feels to lose things.

There is always and always a choice. And a little part of life is to make a choice (own or forced) and live it till its existence is significant.

--Shruti

Playlist

Starting afresh...

Here i am.. again!

Seems that this blog has become more of a diary [which is something that i had not planned!], so its okay if another post gets added onto this diary! Hema messaged asking for the addresses of Anu and Preethi. Great! how could have i forgotten to mail her their addresses? Anyways, mailed Hema a few minutes back and started playing Freecell!

The game seemed easy but after a few moves [i thought that the game was moving okay], i got stuck and my desktop read - "you lost the game, want to restart?" or something like that. I restarted the game and lost again! And again restarted the game and again lost! Man, this is pathetic! Again restarted the game and after a few moves, it looked something like this:



Oh! it really isnt that hard to have lost the game thrice!



*Yawn*, why am i doing this? Why cant i just go and sleep? why dint i just accept defeat and close the game? Naah! maybe its just hard to accept defeat, so i'll continue the game! hey, btw, not a bad position at all, to be in. maybe the game is almost over [atleast it seems like!]:



a few more moves and...:



Tada!
Game over!

Maybe, during the first three trials, i was just not paying attention at all and playing the game uninterestedly, just for passing time [for the sake of doing it]! A little interest and everything seemed so easy! Maybe, its the lack of interest that most of the times worsens an uninteresting situation!

Btw, the game was pretty easy and it was fun being in the same situation for the fourth time [as there was a difference, it wasnt uninteresting anymore!]

Starting afresh maybe is not a bad idea after all!

Oh! The watch reads 1:03 am! Mom told to sleep asap!

Signing off
Shruti

*Gosh! Too many pictures are being used in this blog! Okay.. i love it though! Senseless statement? Maybe, but not for me! :D

Blogswara

Recently realised that Malayalam music is awseome [though I dont understand malayali lyrics]!

Thank you Blogswara

Sudoku Story!

Sudoku solving: A new hobby!
A few days back the First puzzle took me 1 hr to solve! 1 hour! That's too much! 2nd one, 35 mins and today's puzzle took me 20 mins.. still a lot of scope for improvement! Its fun!



Well, I barely understand cricket, so this newspaper clipping focuses on much interesting thing - SUDOKU!



Oh well, I want to blog on so many things [cuz i think that i am bound to forget everything - very poor memory], but sleep time now! Got to wake up early 'morrow

Shruti

Lyrics or Music:

A post by an ex-BITSian.

Impression

Maybe the marks of created impressions get washed away with time, but those very etched impressions remain unaffected in mind even when hit by fierce tides of time...

Blogging

One more sem gone! It takes me back to the end of last semester when i had the same sem end feelings!

Oh! One more sem over! How scary is that? With people asking - what are you going to do now Shruti? Oh me - I want to do PhD but lets see if things work out! I feel my voice sounding so unsure when i mutter out these words! But still, its something i strongly want to do! Reason - not figured out yet, maybe this reason sounds too simple - physics, particles, thought, perception changing everything, chance phenomena, the very idea of existance of unexplored realms, models which try to explain the behaviour of systems under certain conditions [and without. This is funny though, cuz we [humans] are fermionic yet its so tough to comprehend human mind and behavior most of the times (well, for me!) - wow, i maybe so very incorrect!] - its just so amazing.

Many of the students whom I know are going to be off next semester. When asked what they're planning to do - the answers received are simply amazing - though sometimes its not hard to guess what they'll say - "I'd like to be placed in a company, and then maybe later try my hand at management [MBA]", and a few people are a bit more adventurous with their lives and answer - "I'm gonna go for higher studies - wanna do MS, its pointless doing it here in India"... and some say - "I am dualite re, but maybe job sounds like a good idea and maybe followed by MBA... no more physics pleasee"... and Full stop! It always is so safe, so easy to follow a safe route [a nice job] which'd promise a decent and secure life after graduation [Herd Mentality?! Hmm, it sure is there to some extent]. And how hard is it for a student [BITS student - to be more specific] to be placed in a nice company considering the fact that BITS has a record of very high percentage of placements each year because the quality of BITS students is pretty good? But uncertainity sounds much more fun [yeah yeah - i can hear the word impracticality]

Risk Uncertainity is something that really adds up some adventure in life! Isnt it fun completing the assignments right at the moment of submission of the same, maybe that completed assignment is a result of putting a full night out? Isnt it fun getting lost in a beautiful dream which lands you in a world which you never saw, never imagined and maybe never again will except for in your dreams? Isnt it the mystery of the unknown that makes it all the more beautiful? Isnt dreaming worth that risk - of getting lost at some unknown place? I remember the Shakhambari trip - the uncertainity of a rock(s)/pebbles rolling over under my feet - the feeling of uncertainity - was something that gave me a high - it was almost as if i was expecting to roll down and fall [wouldnt mind a bruise or a cut or a wound] - but that never happened [well, professors were around na - saying 'be careful, be careful'!] - and then going away from the group to explore the yet to be explored place with Nisha [i forgot the name of the place - that water storage thing] - and then four students [Kinnera, Aruna, Amruth and Sriram] coming in search of us and enjoying the beauty surrounding them and us - Oh! it was so beautiful - the whole experience! Oh yeah - the risk - the risk was something that added charm to the whole trip. :)

Maybe my thoughts are taking random leaps from one thought to the other. But a post focusing on one topic is not intended, so its fine!

Again, stumbled upon - http://www.flickr.com/photos/cdm/ [no, i dint stumble upon, i went there wantedly - my brother had deleted the "darkmatter's" snaps trying to 'clean' the comp off useless material and hence getting a shouting from me and a teasing smile saying - 'i m going to save those pictures again chant-ee'; chant-ee: my bro's nick name when he does something that i dont like.. wait, that's his name even when he does nothing that i dont like!]. Well, whatever! It was good that Abhinav deleted the folder cuz, darkmatter has updated his photoblog! And wow! What a blog! Amazing! Awesome! This person is a Genious! I dint know for sure if this person is a physics person, but looking at the pix - i am pretty sure that he IS a physics person. Nope, that's not what attracted me to this blog, it was the pictures [physics comes way later] and the labels for the pictures that are simply too not unnoticable! Pure Genious! And Yeah! On 14th, after the Statistical mechanics paper, Hema told me take an issue of 'Quanta - 2006' from her room, a B5 magazine. And guess what, Darkmatter's pictures are there in it! This person must be pretty famous!

Finally finalised - ID is permitting me to take up a project under Subhash sir - informed sir of that - talked to Rishikesh sir again about an informal project under him, something physics + coding [cuz he told many times in the class that he's workin on that] - came to know that this stage is not yet reached [actually sir told that computation requires some more physics background and depending on the progress made, computation will enter the picture - hope that the enthu wouldnt die off and hope that i dont turn out to be lousy lazy student that i very much am - i know nothing in physics and am an MSc physics [hons] student!] - Neutrino oscillations - that's what am expected to learn - Gauge symmetries, here i come!
Though the idea of symmetry preservation being necessary is something that i dont understand why but as sir was explaining today that symmetries are seen to be violated................ anyways, lets see what happens!

Uncertain and YET (or maybe HENCE) Beautiful!

I dont know what this picture means, but its pretty:

Une Yuletata Frabuleuse



Photo taken from Darkmatter's blog space.

Signing off
Shruti

* Oh! its 12:15 am now! 15th may again - will never be a teen anymore! Bye bye teenage life!