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APJ Abdul Kalam visited BITS-Pilani

Oh brother! Am i not bad with anything that has anything to do with EEE! No wonder 'current' and me havve tough time getting along. God! I am so bad at the IMA experiments!!

Bob thinks

Bob thinks

Why is Equillibrium the most desirable state?

Luck!
Destiny!

Do these words have any meaning? Are these things really true?
So strange, a situation which seems mysterious, unexplainable and non-comprehensible, is told to be a consequence of Luck or Destiny!

Path

Morpheus: She told you exactly what you needed to hear, that's all. Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

[Chance phenomena. Funny, is it? mmm, talking of chances, yea, Maybe, Probably!]

Omg! Its hard to convince people who dont want to understand because of their belief of themselves being 'so called right'. Ya ya, i am the first to fall under this catagory but whatever!

It feels so great to know that my dad is supporting me in what i want to do. Thrilling! Simply Awesome! I am so lucky!

:D :D

Shruti

Apprehension

It feels so strange to be disarmed completely in an area which we know is a weak area for us. So when we (myself and Amrita) were talking, i felt as if i am NOT working for what i believe in and want to do. I know what i want to do but am scared. Death scared.

Yes, I am having this laid-back attitude and am blaming 'confusion' to be the cause of this attitude. I am not confused, but i just dont do what i strongly want to do. Reason, FEAR. Why? Okay, there are reasons but now they seem simply like excuses. Irritating excuses to make me feel that 'yea shruti, these are the reasons which wouldnt allow you to step into your quest, so just shup up and sit down. No need of doing anything thinking yourself to be too smart. You just are NOT'.

CG is bad. I know. But, is trying bad? Why am i so scared? Why dont i interact? Why doesnt a single prof know me? That's because i dont try. Simply dont do that. Deadlines already gone and but there is one more institute left - IIA Kodikanal (Thanks Amrita for letting me know). Deadline is 31st march. Not much of time. But i will try. I'm not sure if i'll get good recommendation letters, but i will request. I will try. I have to try. Wasted lots of years, not anymore. No more.

Random me.

[Randomly picked up sentances from the movie "Garden State"] ... let go, let go ... 'cause there is beauty in breakdown ... "Guardian of the infinite abyss" ... let go, let go ... "do you know what i do when i feel unoriginal?" ... ... ... let go, let go ...

I sometimes wonder why people trust others so easily? How could they trust someone with their inner thoughts, their fears, their perception of the things around them...?

Do i prompt them to do that? Do i make them feel comfortable with such topics? Do i force them into speaking out? or does the silence take onto them and they break it by opening up? Dont they feel strange speaking out things? I've heard this statement so many times "I dont know why i am telling all this to you, Shruti". Even i dont have a clue. I rarely give advice (cuz i cant do that, 'cuz they dont need that), i rarely speak in response to their talk (excepting to a very few of them, but maybe they also dont need that) but i listen carefully and patiently. Maybe they need a listening ear, maybe a friend who can understand. I am not sure if i completely understand, maybe i do, maybe i dont, or maybe i misinterpret (quite possible) what they say. Maybe they know that and they dont need to be understood... Maybe as people say, its easier to open in front of a stranger... maybe i am that stranger... maybe they need a listening ear. I am a cold being, rarely affected by anything and rarely having an opinion. For good or bad... no idea!

[But I also care... i also have feelings... i am also emotional... (okay i wouldnt cry if i get bad grades.. baah whatever)].

But that's not the point. The point is that why do they trust? How do they trust? Can i trust anyone like that? No! I simply cant. Not anyone in the world but my mom. Yes, I am a cold being, rarely affected by anything and rarely having an opinion. But it works for me. It does. But why cant i trust? Maybe i just dont want to get hurt. Maybe i am scared of taking that risk. It just doesnt come to me

Life has changed a lot after 2nd year. It has, to an extent that was unimaginable. I was so different before. God! It makes me feel as if i have become an anti-old shruti. A total contradiction of what i was 2 years back. But, i like it this way. i like it cuz, ... ... ... ... !

If i feel reluctant opening up, what am i doing here? Hmm... maybe as people say "its easier to open up in front of strangers"... maybe that is what is happening here. I dont know if anyone will read this, but that hardly matters. If it doesnt matter, then why is this put up online? Hmm, talking to oneself is not bad. Maybe i just want to be heard. No matter who listens. Even, If no one is reading this, i can hear my own echo... my own voice getting bounced back in this valley of silence. Its all messy. But, no problems.

'cause there is beauty in breakdown? ...

... yea, there is beauty in breakdown! ...

...
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
...
so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

[Let go by Frou Frou]

...

Shruti

Reason

Maybe i know the reason.. what is making me happy. Not sure if that is the reason. I want to believe in angels but dont think that i do. hmm.. maybe one day, just one fine day, that too will happen.

Happy

Silly.. Stupid.. Angels.. Happyness.. all seem so true and real! Its just hard to digest the fact that i am happy. Reason - no reason at all! Its so silly and stupid but true.. as true as my new belief - angels exist! Wow! what's happening to me? I believe in angels.. oh i believe in angels. They are here as the beautiful stars, staring at us with their twinkling eyes..

The song "I have a dream" by Abba is playing somewhere in my mind :::

I believe in angels,
something good in everything i see.
I have a dream..
a song to sing..

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see

...

I am just so happy!

Smiling away
Shruti

Eragon

Wow! Loved the movie, even though it is said that the novel is way better (had left reading the novel when i was half way through). Songs are awesome!

Oh yeah! This reminds me.. there are so many books that i need to complete (Deadlines!). Anyways, Goodnight to myself and every little and every huge living or non-living being.

Cheerio

Shruti

Once in every lifetime

It's time to move out of the darkness
Use what you feel inside
Your faith alone will guide you
Feel the turning time

It's in your heart
It's in your soul
Don't be scared, keep believin'
I know you know deep inside that your time has come

Once in every lifetime
If you do believe
Men can move a mountain,
Change the course of history
How far we've come, so far...
From home

Trust in your path, you've been chosen
Become your destiny
Lead and they will follow you
Your truth will set you free

It's in your heart
It's in your soul
Don't be scared, keep believin'
I know you know deep inside that your time has come

Once in every lifetime
If you do believe
Men can move a mountain,
Change the course of history
How far we've come, so far...
From home


Once in every lifetime
If you do believe
Men can move a mountain,
Change the course of history
How far we've come, so far...
From home

- Performed by Jem (Eragon)

???? >> !!!!

WW...?
I wonder why I (sometimes) wonder not!
A few things that seem so obvious, always escape attention. But when someone asks the Obvious, lightening strikes and the question repeats: "yeah.. why? and more important than that, why dint it hit me BEFORE?"

You CAN do
More the degrees of freedom, the more you can do.
What if the degrees of freedom are chained down by the constraint called 'fear'? What happens then, to the capitalised 'can'?

Oh god! Today's Particle physics class was so so.. i dunno.. it was so so awesome that i am totally speechless! It was like exploring and delving into human nature.. of having an urge to inquire things.. to question things.. to satisfy 'curiosity'!

[<---- 6 hours later ---->]

Oh.. I dont know when i'll be able to complete the post cuz i have to eat. Mental exhaustion taking over.

Signing out
Shruti

WW - Wonder Why...?

I wonder why, I wonder why;
I wonder why I wonder;
I wonder why I wonder why;
I wonder why I wonder!

- Richard Feynman

John Galt

What is "String Theory"?
Who is "John Galt"?