My current status: 9 +times 23-1-14-20 to 6-1-12-12 in 12-15-22-5! [Btw, I want to go on a looong walk (just came back from a short walk..) wow.. its so beautiful outside today.. just had a whiff of fresh air and felt the cool air brush past me.. there is no need of a jacket today.. oh, its so beautiful outside that i want to sing at the top of my voice!]
Cant believe that i could get so hyper (reaction to the previous post).. seems that I have Multiple Personality Gift! hehe.
Shruti
Monday, January 29, 2007
Me v/s Me
Yes.. I am angry.. and anger turns you crazy.. so crazy that you search for any such solution that rids you of it.. so is blogging one such solution? I dont know.. and I dont care..
What happened? What's making you angry?
No.. its not 'What'.. its 'Who'. Who's making me angry? A person.. a person whose existence seems like a big burden to me.. a person who is driving me mad because the copious amounts of poisonous insanity that's filled within her, is getting injected into my mind.. and its even more annoying to face the fact that i cant distance myself from her.. why? because the she is me.. and as for 'what happened', hell happened..
Why? Why do you blame 'her' to be the cause of your anger? You still dint give an answer to the previous question.
See.. See.. this is exactly what I am doing these days, totally turning a deaf ear to what is being said by my friends, or in the class.. and making a fool of myself.. i've become so inattentive.. its unintentional.. but does anyone care? No! but that's not a problem, I am inattentive.. that's making me angry.. i am turning deaf (due to my capability of being inattentive), that's making me angry.. i cant explain things, my ideas to anyone.. that's making me angry.. i dont feel like (dont even feel the 'need' of) sharing my feelings with anyone (except for my family) as my friends do.. that's making me angry.. i feel unnatural.. that's making me angry.. my tone is getting monotonous.. that's making me angry.. i want to enjoy life, be afraid of comprees, smile and laugh.. but something's restraining me.. that's making me angry.. i.. i am making me angry.. i know that this is a stupid thing created in my head.. i know that it can stopped.. but im unable to do so.. that's making me angry.. i blame her because she's making me live in that self created delution..
Ohh! That's a heavy dose you gave. But every litle word, every little sentance seems to be interwoven to form a single problem. So, the problem is, not this interwoven problem, but maybe, as you said, the self created delution. You have wonderful people as your friends, why dont you try being at ease with them? Chill down a bit! Breathe easy! Talk to them, listen to them carefully. Maybe that'll help.
So, you think that i dont want to do that? I love my friends! I love everyone i know and i love to listen to them. I never had this problem before.. yea, they're really wonderful.. and its fun listening to them.. its not like i completely go deaf.. its just that i feel that maybe i dun give a proper response.. i feel like im growing cold.. and i dont want that to happen.. maybe im over-reacting and hence over-exaggerating.. maybe..
Ahaan! Good to see that your temper is reducing. Did you realise this - you sorted out your problem! Maybe its a temporary feeling that'll pass.
[Smiling] yeah maybe! Thanks for listening. I'll go now and try completing 'The Fountainhead'.
Okay! Cyah! Hopefully i'll see you sharing happy moments also with me.
Yeah.. sure! Bye for now.
Shruti
What happened? What's making you angry?
No.. its not 'What'.. its 'Who'. Who's making me angry? A person.. a person whose existence seems like a big burden to me.. a person who is driving me mad because the copious amounts of poisonous insanity that's filled within her, is getting injected into my mind.. and its even more annoying to face the fact that i cant distance myself from her.. why? because the she is me.. and as for 'what happened', hell happened..
Why? Why do you blame 'her' to be the cause of your anger? You still dint give an answer to the previous question.
See.. See.. this is exactly what I am doing these days, totally turning a deaf ear to what is being said by my friends, or in the class.. and making a fool of myself.. i've become so inattentive.. its unintentional.. but does anyone care? No! but that's not a problem, I am inattentive.. that's making me angry.. i am turning deaf (due to my capability of being inattentive), that's making me angry.. i cant explain things, my ideas to anyone.. that's making me angry.. i dont feel like (dont even feel the 'need' of) sharing my feelings with anyone (except for my family) as my friends do.. that's making me angry.. i feel unnatural.. that's making me angry.. my tone is getting monotonous.. that's making me angry.. i want to enjoy life, be afraid of comprees, smile and laugh.. but something's restraining me.. that's making me angry.. i.. i am making me angry.. i know that this is a stupid thing created in my head.. i know that it can stopped.. but im unable to do so.. that's making me angry.. i blame her because she's making me live in that self created delution..
Ohh! That's a heavy dose you gave. But every litle word, every little sentance seems to be interwoven to form a single problem. So, the problem is, not this interwoven problem, but maybe, as you said, the self created delution. You have wonderful people as your friends, why dont you try being at ease with them? Chill down a bit! Breathe easy! Talk to them, listen to them carefully. Maybe that'll help.
So, you think that i dont want to do that? I love my friends! I love everyone i know and i love to listen to them. I never had this problem before.. yea, they're really wonderful.. and its fun listening to them.. its not like i completely go deaf.. its just that i feel that maybe i dun give a proper response.. i feel like im growing cold.. and i dont want that to happen.. maybe im over-reacting and hence over-exaggerating.. maybe..
Ahaan! Good to see that your temper is reducing. Did you realise this - you sorted out your problem! Maybe its a temporary feeling that'll pass.
[Smiling] yeah maybe! Thanks for listening. I'll go now and try completing 'The Fountainhead'.
Okay! Cyah! Hopefully i'll see you sharing happy moments also with me.
Yeah.. sure! Bye for now.
Shruti
|- 23-6-12-1 to 1-15-14-12 in 22-20-12-5 -|
An alternative to the previous post - 12-15-22-5
9 +times 23-6-12-1 to 1-15-14-12 in 22-20-12-5
9 +times 23-6-12-1 to 1-15-14-12 in 22-20-12-5
Sunday, January 28, 2007
58
57 years passed since 26-01-1950. 58th running!
"Hello everyone
So, its 26th January today - The Repulic day! No wonder everyone's face is lit up with an enchanting smile that speaks of no classes, i.e. freedom! This day marks the Zenith of the completion of 58 years of successful India as a 'Republic'. Republic means Democracy which goes by the famous cliche - for the people, by the people and of the people; which consolidates the fact that we indirectly govern ourselves! Ahh Freedom.. to live the way we want! isnt it?
History is a subject which probably interests not many of us, but is an important base on which the present is built, India's present is built, and in turn, our present is built. So, it is, but an important factor that predetermined to some extent, the state of our present existence. So, Allow me to get into a bit of history. India was declared 'Republic' on January 26 1950 and that is when It became 'independent' in the true sense. It has transformed a lot since independence, as can be seen from the tremendous advancement that has taken place in the field of science - nuclear, missile and to a lesser extent, space programmes to list a few. And it will shine even more as you take india to the higher level of success with your growth into sucessful enterpreneurs, doctors, engineers and what not.
I find it very apt to quote a part of our president's speech made on 26 january 2003:
"India can become a developed nation only if everyone contributes to the best of his or her ability and capacity. The mission is: In transforming India into a developed nation by 2020, what can be the role of every citizen in addition to the governmental initiatives of launching programs for the vision of developed India. I have already explained that there has to be integrated development programmes with empowered management structure. In addition, I would like to suggest various missions for our people. For example, the student community can take up the task, during holidays to make a certain number of people literate in their area where their schools or houses are situated. Only a burning candle can light another." To quote it in simple words, the future of india lies in your hands, and you will be the key agents in making the vision, of India being a 'developed' nation by 2020, a reality. The candle - burning with ideas, with innovation, is in you. You have the power to light india with the candle.
Wish you a bright future ahead."
REJECTED - Completely useless.. a speech for school children has to be written.. This doesnt even have more than 3 paragraphs.. The language used is inappropriate to be spoken in front of little school children (1st - 10th class students). What was I thinking when i wrote that for dad?! God!
God...
God - God only knows how often this word occurs in the statements i frame. Reason? who knows! Is it because i believe a lot in God? hmm.. wouldnt agree to that, because i dont. But i do respect the FAITH that others have in god. Faith - its beautiful. What gives birth to it? I dont know. All i know is that I cant believe it. But yes, Faith is beautiful.
Shruti
"Hello everyone
So, its 26th January today - The Repulic day! No wonder everyone's face is lit up with an enchanting smile that speaks of no classes, i.e. freedom! This day marks the Zenith of the completion of 58 years of successful India as a 'Republic'. Republic means Democracy which goes by the famous cliche - for the people, by the people and of the people; which consolidates the fact that we indirectly govern ourselves! Ahh Freedom.. to live the way we want! isnt it?
History is a subject which probably interests not many of us, but is an important base on which the present is built, India's present is built, and in turn, our present is built. So, it is, but an important factor that predetermined to some extent, the state of our present existence. So, Allow me to get into a bit of history. India was declared 'Republic' on January 26 1950 and that is when It became 'independent' in the true sense. It has transformed a lot since independence, as can be seen from the tremendous advancement that has taken place in the field of science - nuclear, missile and to a lesser extent, space programmes to list a few. And it will shine even more as you take india to the higher level of success with your growth into sucessful enterpreneurs, doctors, engineers and what not.
I find it very apt to quote a part of our president's speech made on 26 january 2003:
"India can become a developed nation only if everyone contributes to the best of his or her ability and capacity. The mission is: In transforming India into a developed nation by 2020, what can be the role of every citizen in addition to the governmental initiatives of launching programs for the vision of developed India. I have already explained that there has to be integrated development programmes with empowered management structure. In addition, I would like to suggest various missions for our people. For example, the student community can take up the task, during holidays to make a certain number of people literate in their area where their schools or houses are situated. Only a burning candle can light another." To quote it in simple words, the future of india lies in your hands, and you will be the key agents in making the vision, of India being a 'developed' nation by 2020, a reality. The candle - burning with ideas, with innovation, is in you. You have the power to light india with the candle.
Wish you a bright future ahead."
REJECTED - Completely useless.. a speech for school children has to be written.. This doesnt even have more than 3 paragraphs.. The language used is inappropriate to be spoken in front of little school children (1st - 10th class students). What was I thinking when i wrote that for dad?! God!
God...
God - God only knows how often this word occurs in the statements i frame. Reason? who knows! Is it because i believe a lot in God? hmm.. wouldnt agree to that, because i dont. But i do respect the FAITH that others have in god. Faith - its beautiful. What gives birth to it? I dont know. All i know is that I cant believe it. But yes, Faith is beautiful.
Shruti
Self
"The lake below was only a thin steel ring that cut the rocks in half. The rocks went on into the depth, unchanged. They began and ended in the sky. So that the world seemed suspended in space, an island floating on nothing, anchored to the feet of the man on the cliff." - The Fountainhead
Howard Roark's character is really interesting. Do these type of people exist in this world? I dont know, cuz, i never came across anybody of such nature. But i like this character.
My friend and me had a two minute discussion on Ayn Rand's philosophy of life. She totally disagrees with her ideology and firmly believes that she is an idealist. I do agree with the later half of my friend's statement but her ideology sure awes me to a great extent. Not that i completely agree with her.
Yes, I do believe that a person has got to be selfish to sustain the self but the degree of 'selfishness' should be bound by the cause of helping the self. It shouldnt be a trouble to others to a great extent. Oh god.. whtever........ i'm outta here.
Shruti
Howard Roark's character is really interesting. Do these type of people exist in this world? I dont know, cuz, i never came across anybody of such nature. But i like this character.
My friend and me had a two minute discussion on Ayn Rand's philosophy of life. She totally disagrees with her ideology and firmly believes that she is an idealist. I do agree with the later half of my friend's statement but her ideology sure awes me to a great extent. Not that i completely agree with her.
Yes, I do believe that a person has got to be selfish to sustain the self but the degree of 'selfishness' should be bound by the cause of helping the self. It shouldnt be a trouble to others to a great extent. Oh god.. whtever........ i'm outta here.
Shruti
Saturday, January 20, 2007
ONE point FIVE - No order - Total Chaos!
19th Jan 2007:
3:35 pm, FD-III..
oops the additional registration must have already started.. wonder if they're gonna allow the addition of an Optional CDC.. lets see.. better hurry up..
"Hey, this line is for registration, right?", a girl in pink turns around and nods. "What's the basis of the registration, i mean, how are they letting students in?", i ask her. She replies "They're doing it Pr. wise, some 300 n odd Pr. is going on". "Oh okay! Thanks".
612.. there's plenty of time.. should have attended the SSP class.. Hell! what crowd.. feels like am stuck in a local public bus.. uff, why should i crib? I only went for the whole addition business.. chalo, waiting is the only option..
The girl in pink (to her friend who came out after she got reg. in the course she wanted): "What pr. is going on?". "They're not doing PR. wise, just rush in.. That's how i also got in.."
What?! Strange! It would have been better if they had decided the criteria before.. PR wise or FCFS (First Come First Served) basis.. hmm, Management doesnt look like an easy subject.. neways, what crowd!
More pushing around happens in the vicinity. A guy from the office comes out shouting, "Are you the students of BITS? This kind of behaviour from you people! Form queues". (Dont remember exactly what he said, but from a few words that managed to reach my ears, these statements have ben constructed)
Two Queues formed. Phew! This looks better..
There was a student with pr 500 sumthing who came at 3:30 sharp but was queued up at the end of the line. Her turn came at 5:00 pm. She had to wait for full ONE point FIVE hrs!
This is the first time, that the importance of order struck my mind. Human behaviour completely changes in situations like these. Nobody bothers about what's happening around and we require some external rule to keep us in order. (After the formation of the 2 queues, everything got quickened + there was no chaos, i.e no pushing around!). Yeah Yeah.. Management is HARD.
ONE point FIVE - No order - Total Chaos!
Shruti
3:35 pm, FD-III..
oops the additional registration must have already started.. wonder if they're gonna allow the addition of an Optional CDC.. lets see.. better hurry up..
"Hey, this line is for registration, right?", a girl in pink turns around and nods. "What's the basis of the registration, i mean, how are they letting students in?", i ask her. She replies "They're doing it Pr. wise, some 300 n odd Pr. is going on". "Oh okay! Thanks".
612.. there's plenty of time.. should have attended the SSP class.. Hell! what crowd.. feels like am stuck in a local public bus.. uff, why should i crib? I only went for the whole addition business.. chalo, waiting is the only option..
The girl in pink (to her friend who came out after she got reg. in the course she wanted): "What pr. is going on?". "They're not doing PR. wise, just rush in.. That's how i also got in.."
What?! Strange! It would have been better if they had decided the criteria before.. PR wise or FCFS (First Come First Served) basis.. hmm, Management doesnt look like an easy subject.. neways, what crowd!
More pushing around happens in the vicinity. A guy from the office comes out shouting, "Are you the students of BITS? This kind of behaviour from you people! Form queues". (Dont remember exactly what he said, but from a few words that managed to reach my ears, these statements have ben constructed)
Two Queues formed. Phew! This looks better..
There was a student with pr 500 sumthing who came at 3:30 sharp but was queued up at the end of the line. Her turn came at 5:00 pm. She had to wait for full ONE point FIVE hrs!
This is the first time, that the importance of order struck my mind. Human behaviour completely changes in situations like these. Nobody bothers about what's happening around and we require some external rule to keep us in order. (After the formation of the 2 queues, everything got quickened + there was no chaos, i.e no pushing around!). Yeah Yeah.. Management is HARD.
ONE point FIVE - No order - Total Chaos!
Shruti
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Faceless
I see around me, and see a sea of faces, with different features, different complexion, different hair structure, yet i can see myself in them.
I am seated in a class. I look around and see.. some students listening attentively to the prof; some trying hard to keep themselves awake; some trying to understand what the prof is saying; some understanding in one go; some, who dint understand in one go, in an attempt to understand a particular concept, missing out on what the prof is teaching in the next few mins; some postponing the 'understanding' thing for the later time; and some taking it lite. How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I am in Goa. We are in a beach. I look around and see.. Some people rushing into the waves and enjoying the thrill; some holding the hands of their children to protect them from the waves of the arabian sea; some happy to stare at the sea and enjoying its beauty; some childen busy in making sand castles (or maybe sand sharks!); some elders also busy in making sand castles!; some playing pranks on their friends; some enjoying with family. How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see some kids, their innocence, their mischievious looks, their beautiful smiles, their heartbreaking cries, their endless sweet queries, their curiosity, their
devilish ideas! Havent i passed through this stage? How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see some teenagers, their minds in chaos; them in confusion; their changing infatuations, their jealously; their obsession for winning; their obsession for 'fitting into' the crowd; their dream of 'making a difference' in the society. Havent i passed through this stage? How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see my peers.......................................................................
How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see my elders......................................................................
I lack their experience, their knowledge, but wont i too become an elder in a later time? I might see myself in them.
I see around me, and see a sea of faces, with different features, different complexion, different hair structure, yet i can see myself in them.
Do I have milions of faces? Or am i faceless? I am faceless. A faceless chameleon who changes her face (maybe automatically or maybe intentionally) at the apropriate times. I see myself in you too. Are you different from me?
BUT
I see my mom.. her love for everyone aroung her, her sweet nature, her presence making home a beautiful home, i dont know if can ever be like her. She's a perfect mom.
I see my dad.. his professional attitude at work, his kiddish sweetest smile at home, his awesome communication skills, his research work (I dont know more than half his research projects), his analytical capability, him being the bestest daddy in the entire universe, he awes me (and i like that feeling). He's a perfect dad. I aspire to become like him though the odds are in my favor!
Shruti
I am seated in a class. I look around and see.. some students listening attentively to the prof; some trying hard to keep themselves awake; some trying to understand what the prof is saying; some understanding in one go; some, who dint understand in one go, in an attempt to understand a particular concept, missing out on what the prof is teaching in the next few mins; some postponing the 'understanding' thing for the later time; and some taking it lite. How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I am in Goa. We are in a beach. I look around and see.. Some people rushing into the waves and enjoying the thrill; some holding the hands of their children to protect them from the waves of the arabian sea; some happy to stare at the sea and enjoying its beauty; some childen busy in making sand castles (or maybe sand sharks!); some elders also busy in making sand castles!; some playing pranks on their friends; some enjoying with family. How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see some kids, their innocence, their mischievious looks, their beautiful smiles, their heartbreaking cries, their endless sweet queries, their curiosity, their
devilish ideas! Havent i passed through this stage? How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see some teenagers, their minds in chaos; them in confusion; their changing infatuations, their jealously; their obsession for winning; their obsession for 'fitting into' the crowd; their dream of 'making a difference' in the society. Havent i passed through this stage? How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see my peers.......................................................................
How different am i from them? For, i see myself in them.
I see my elders......................................................................
I lack their experience, their knowledge, but wont i too become an elder in a later time? I might see myself in them.
I see around me, and see a sea of faces, with different features, different complexion, different hair structure, yet i can see myself in them.
Do I have milions of faces? Or am i faceless? I am faceless. A faceless chameleon who changes her face (maybe automatically or maybe intentionally) at the apropriate times. I see myself in you too. Are you different from me?
BUT
I see my mom.. her love for everyone aroung her, her sweet nature, her presence making home a beautiful home, i dont know if can ever be like her. She's a perfect mom.
I see my dad.. his professional attitude at work, his kiddish sweetest smile at home, his awesome communication skills, his research work (I dont know more than half his research projects), his analytical capability, him being the bestest daddy in the entire universe, he awes me (and i like that feeling). He's a perfect dad. I aspire to become like him though the odds are in my favor!
Shruti
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Its a new day...
Oh wow! The sem has finally begun. It feels so good to see BITS coming back to life. Last sem was so different from rest of the semesters (yeah, in a good way!), so unpredictable, with bestest OASIS spent with greatest friends (friends made during PS-I, they are so great, had they not been there to pull me to the C- and D- lawns, i would have spent the entire OASIS at home!), with bestest courses (barring non-CDCs ofcourse), with sweetest profs, nicest batchmates (pretty witty, sharp and sweet, i must say), and bestest insti room in the entire universe! It was so so so great. Perfect 4.5 months of greatest college life!
And now, its a new day, with the same unpredictability, and the same batchmates, and the same me.
Wow!
It's a new world
It's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts (and all the types of beating hearts!)
It's a new day
It's a new plan
I've been waiting for you...
Shruti
And now, its a new day, with the same unpredictability, and the same batchmates, and the same me.
Wow!
It's a new world
It's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts (and all the types of beating hearts!)
It's a new day
It's a new plan
I've been waiting for you...
Shruti
Monday, January 01, 2007
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