Yes.. I am angry.. and anger turns you crazy.. so crazy that you search for any such solution that rids you of it.. so is blogging one such solution? I dont know.. and I dont care..
What happened? What's making you angry?
No.. its not 'What'.. its 'Who'. Who's making me angry? A person.. a person whose existence seems like a big burden to me.. a person who is driving me mad because the copious amounts of poisonous insanity that's filled within her, is getting injected into my mind.. and its even more annoying to face the fact that i cant distance myself from her.. why? because the she is me.. and as for 'what happened', hell happened..
Why? Why do you blame 'her' to be the cause of your anger? You still dint give an answer to the previous question.
See.. See.. this is exactly what I am doing these days, totally turning a deaf ear to what is being said by my friends, or in the class.. and making a fool of myself.. i've become so inattentive.. its unintentional.. but does anyone care? No! but that's not a problem, I am inattentive.. that's making me angry.. i am turning deaf (due to my capability of being inattentive), that's making me angry.. i cant explain things, my ideas to anyone.. that's making me angry.. i dont feel like (dont even feel the 'need' of) sharing my feelings with anyone (except for my family) as my friends do.. that's making me angry.. i feel unnatural.. that's making me angry.. my tone is getting monotonous.. that's making me angry.. i want to enjoy life, be afraid of comprees, smile and laugh.. but something's restraining me.. that's making me angry.. i.. i am making me angry.. i know that this is a stupid thing created in my head.. i know that it can stopped.. but im unable to do so.. that's making me angry.. i blame her because she's making me live in that self created delution..
Ohh! That's a heavy dose you gave. But every litle word, every little sentance seems to be interwoven to form a single problem. So, the problem is, not this interwoven problem, but maybe, as you said, the self created delution. You have wonderful people as your friends, why dont you try being at ease with them? Chill down a bit! Breathe easy! Talk to them, listen to them carefully. Maybe that'll help.
So, you think that i dont want to do that? I love my friends! I love everyone i know and i love to listen to them. I never had this problem before.. yea, they're really wonderful.. and its fun listening to them.. its not like i completely go deaf.. its just that i feel that maybe i dun give a proper response.. i feel like im growing cold.. and i dont want that to happen.. maybe im over-reacting and hence over-exaggerating.. maybe..
Ahaan! Good to see that your temper is reducing. Did you realise this - you sorted out your problem! Maybe its a temporary feeling that'll pass.
[Smiling] yeah maybe! Thanks for listening. I'll go now and try completing 'The Fountainhead'.
Okay! Cyah! Hopefully i'll see you sharing happy moments also with me.
Yeah.. sure! Bye for now.
Shruti
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