I've not been busy. And I've missed blogging so much.
Then why did i not blog? Been too lazy to type down a few words?
Yes.
I've met new people in a past few months. Some who showed me a new way of thinking, some who left me in awe and some who washed away my notions of how certain people should be like. Have i changed again? hmm, maybe not exactly, but yeah surely realised new things.
Like hema said, am talking a lot (something that i never did much of, before).
Placements almost started. Do i want a job? No, I dont. Then why am i sitting for them?
Just because am not sure of my future? because am not confident enough of going for phd? Because my parents want me to? yeah, but the weight attached to each of these factors is too low. Maybe that's why am not even working hard towards getting placed. Then why am i sitting for them? What happened to my belief of taking risks? Will i now try to escape? will i try to justify what i am doing now is more mature? No, I dont want to. If playing safe is called maturity, then i detest this kind of maturity. But still, i'll try acting "mature". WHY? WHY? WHY?
Some changes just hurt so much.
Friendship. I never had full confidence in this word. Maybe, i still dont. But staying away from home (though for a few weeks), made me realise how much people believe in it. How much some people value it. Sometimes, even i feel like having such friends. Of trusting someone 100%. But now, i surely have started having more faith in people. Atleast now, i share some things with people.
Some changes just lift up our spirits.
I wont say Kodaikanal made my personality take a full 180 degree turn, but it sure did add more to the way i think, how i view people, on what basis i judge them, and how i see life.
And... maybe... falling in love neednt be a big issue at all. Its just natural.
"You live in a dreamworld Shruti, snap out of it", i've heard that a zillion times, and now, when i see myself drifting away from my dreamworld, it just makes me laugh. I am just losing it. Please come back. Dont leave me.
Does entering the real world mean throwing away the dreams rather than making them a reality? It is more wiser? Damn, it is. Playing safe!
No, am not frustated, neither am confused (or maybe i am!). Just realised that i still do have my dreamworld and it sure is beautiful and alive. Maybe i am drifting away from it, but something is always there to pull me back. I dont know what attracts me to it again and again. Is it magical? Maybe...
Window!
2 comments:
Sometimes even i think of chucking all bus companies and waiting for the right mech job or for my dream of becoming a writer. But then.. Dreams are just dreams. Maybe, it might change once i face placements. I dont know
Ah, i agree, placements can really do weird things to you.
But then, there are people who have left their so comfortable lives and now are chasing their dreams (are dreams after all just dreams? something non-existent?). A recent example: An ex-BITSian has left his job (i dont know what job, but his pay package was pretty good, dont remember the figures, some lacs pm), and is now opening up a BPO oriented company here in Pilani. He wants to give employement to localites. Inspiring? :)
And there are so many more examples, Narayan Murthy and Infosys (my personal favorite); Sarath Babu and his Food King...
check this out: http://ia.rediff.com/money/2006/aug/31spec.htm
Coming back to dreams, does the age at which you make your dreams coms true, matter?
Harini, be a writer always (like you already are)... you write so well.
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