Ghost in the Shell

I wanna watch, I wanna watch.
Please get downloaded fast. Veoh rocksssss!
Anime rocks!
Japanese people are simply superbbbbbbb. Kudos to their innovative ideas, to their thoughts.
I wanna watch, I wanna watch!

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INNOCENCE - The essence of humanity(?!)

Sparsh

Mujhe bhi andhaa ban na hai

Sparsh (the touch)
A beautiful story of love, ego, consuming insecurities, misunderstood intentions, relationships... its the story of an institution for the blind and the lives glued to it.
Sparsh, one simple caring touch, can so beautifully change one's life and the whole perception of it, enlightening the world around, simply by adding warmth and care to the relationships.

Kavita (recently widowed) and Anirudh (principal of the special school) both dwell in their own world of darkness, one by closing herself to the world and drowning herself in the misery of her lost one, and another, who though very self-reliant and independent, by being consumed in self pity. Anirudh is very much drawn to Kavita, but his ego and his doubts don't let him see the love (which he mistakes to be pity) she develops for him as time moves on. It takes both of them a while to discover each other (and themselves) finally helping themselves step out of darkness and restarting their lives in a new light.

Little stories (touching upon "friendship") that revolve around this main line also have a major say in the story. In the middle of the movie, the relationship between two kids (friends actually, one of whom is "normal") slowly gets strained because of the advantages (extra care and love) that come with impairment. This is when the "normal" little kid says "main bhi andhaa ban na chahta hoon", when he feels that his is friend getting more attention and is being taken care of more, by Kavita aunty/ma'am (who he adores) and him being neglected. The word "normal" really loses its meaning. Even though this little guy has sight, he is ready to let go of that to be a part of that school, to be treated as one of those kids, to be loved and given attention to, by Kavita aunty. He just doesnt want to be an "outsider". Kavita also faces such situations where she is given an impression (by Anirudh) of being an "outsider" who couldnt understand the problems "they" undergo. Friendship again intrudes. Its this friendship between Kavita and her friend Manju, that ultimately helps Anirudh to forget that she is an "outsider", realise that he is loved for what he is, and to get back to his love.

A beauiful movie, must watch.

IMDb user comments

Freedom

...and up she flew, leaving behind the remnants of her broken shackles and withered wings; up she flew, as the sun shone brighter making her bid goodbye to the shadows of her past; up she flew, as a gentle breeze touched her and sun smiled with all its warmth; up she flew, and the remnants of her broken shackles and withered wings, lay forgotton...

Love

Insomnia + Unemployment is a deadly combination for unintended thoughts to invade one's mind!

Oh, did I mention that its 1 am, i am not sleepy and am totally jobless?!

Of late, I've been reading a lot [Blogs to be more specific] and what strikes me, is, how alike are the topics that go around in peoples' mind yet how different their perspective is, of looking at those very things. But naah! I dont want to think about that [maybe some other day] because that's not what i was thinking and i cant even recall why i wrote this particular paragraph!

Love

This is one word that demands respect, because I dont know what it means. And anything inexplicable, is to some extent, incomprehensible [that's why maybe its inexplicable?]

People often talk of love...

[sadly i never felt like taking part in any of those conversations, it always seemed such a waste of time, but now it makes me wonder...]

...talk of falling in love, of falling out of love, of a difference existing between puppy love (crushes) and true love... but they always seem to exclude parental/sibling/friendship love from their conversations... so when asked what about them, they go like 'arey, unki baat alag hai' [Translation: "Oh! that's a different issue].

[Okay, i may not be giving in my viewpoints when such a conversation pops up, but i cant shut my ears! Can I? Btw, its always fun to be an observer. Observers always get to witness the maximum fun! And its fun!]

Maybe the way a person comprehends love is not always the same as another person does. Love for a person [as told in the movies and a few of my friends seem to agree with that defination] might mean 'getting smitten by one's charms, or getting totally swept of one's feet' where 'charms' most of time means 'personality' which in many cases means 'the way one carries himself' which most of time means 'looks'! Its funny though, getting attracted to a person just because he/she looks good is like getting into a deep ditch voluntarily [you hardly know that person dude! He/she might be an anti-you when its comes to your opinion or whatever!]. Appearences maybe important to some extent [i.e if one doesnt want ugly kid(s)] but that being the sole reason of falling in love?! Okay, one may say that its impossible to know and understand a person in just one meeting and best way to judge him/her is by the impact he/she makes on you during that encounter. Here again, impact = charms!

For me, one time encounters are useless! They tell nothing [really have had experiences where seemingly intelligent people turned out to be drum-beaters and seemingly dumb and not so good looking people have 'smitten' me by their intelligence! Btw, if this gives an impression that i've ever fallen in love, then sorry to disappoint whosoever is reading this post [if any at all!] No, i never fell in Love, i dont know why but i still think its crap]. If you really want yourself to be swept off your feet, get acquainted dude, spend more time with him/her, I cant understand why one would want to be hit by a thundbolt in just one meeting?

Since, I've had no experience of being in love except for in my home [Parental/Sibling love] and college [Friendship], Love for me means :>>
being comfortable in their company and them also being the same, trying to understand them as they understand themselves and be tolerant enough to not question that, having the courage to leave them alone when they really want to be alone, having the guts to be cent percent truthful [no pretensions]... ie being compatible!

I cant think of any person with whom i'd want to be 'compatible' for now, so am happy having my own current list of 'People I admire'! I've given up using the word - 'Crush' cuz am now using - 'Admire' word in place of that! [for its very safe and crushes are after all admiration of some sort!] :D

Shruti

PS: Its 2 am now, sure took a lot of time write this teeny post! Btw, seems that i am blogging a lot!

Choose a Choice

12/18/06

Oh God! I was browsing through my drafts [unpublished posts] and stumbled upon this post. I dont remember why i hadnt posted that. It was written on 12/18/06. I dont know why I lost that thing in me - thinking till i get exhausted. I dont know why I am so satisfied these days. I dont know why I feel that I've changed again. I dont know why I want live and love life. I just dont know why I am so happy. I dont know why, now i dont even want to know the reason. I have changed, and am happy!

There is always a never-ending itching feeling persisting in my self. whenever i think of anything, anything at all, the whole thinking business leaves me unsatisfied.. because, in the end, everything seems meaningless and unfathomable. (Maybe i'm a bad thinker! because thinking about this also leaves me inconclusive in the end :)).

Yeah, I exist and am Alive.. So what? Is it that big a deal? Can existence of 'some'thing or 'no'thing have this big a value? Why? Why is it important to feel the meaning of these words - "I Exist"? Doesnt it give rise to self importance? doesnt it kill the goodness in us? Because, (say) if i am in a sinking ship (poseidon!), i'll be more worried to save 'my' self more than anything else.

Love, hate, care, selfishness, altruism, joy, hurt...
maybe all these words cant really be differentiated.. maybe they are just dummy words used to strenghten the existence of these two words - "I Exist". Example: Love cant exist if there is no "I", and same goes for any other feeling. If "I" dont exist, then how will i know that 'love' exists or any other feeling for that matter?

All seem so justifiable and non-justifiable at the same time. Its all so confusing.

Yeah, I exist and am Alive.. So what? Is it that big a deal?
I exist because I was born (Its silly but is it false?). There many things and creatures that could have been born, but since they havnt taken birth, they dont exist. Its all in my hands to make my life big or small. There is always a choice. And if I dont make a choice, time will make it for me, because time doesnt wait for decisions to be made, it simply goes on and on. Its all about choice. The choice being: Having life is a big thing v/s many living things are also alive, so life is not a big deal. I choose the first choice.

Can existence of 'some'thing or 'no'thing have this big a value?
For me YES. Because even a small thing can influence our thinking and make us take decisions that we wouldnt have taken if they dint exist. Like, if in this world, pens hadnt been discovered, then I would have still used a pencil in the place of a pen (what a silly example!) But now again there a choice. The choice being: Everything has its own importance v/s Hunh? Value? Whats that?!

Why? Why is it important to feel the meaning of these words - "I Exist"?
The very fact that we exist is the reason why the meaning of these words - "I Exist" gain importance. Because, Life is a beautiful thing that happened to us. Yes, it is confusing sometimes, haunting sometimes, painful sometimes.. But still it is also fun, joy, happiness, love.. most of the times. Isnt existing a beautiful thing? I think it is. But now again there a choice...

But doesnt it give rise to self importance? doesnt it kill the goodness in us? Because, (say) if i am in a sinking ship (poseidon!), i'll be more worried to save 'my' self more than anything else.
Oh yes, It does give rise to self importance and no it doesnt kill goodness in us. Altruism takes birth when we place ourselves in the place of the person for whom we were going to do some 'good'. So when i am in a sinking ship, i cant place another drowning person in my place, because i am also already drowning! So since i already am in that position, i try to save 'My' self than anything else!

Maybe nothing is really wrong. Everything that is labelled 'wrong' has a justifiable reason behind it being NOT wrong, its simply pure statistics that goes against the justifiable reason, i.e, majority of the people are reluctant to accept that reason, and hence it becomes 'wrong'.

Oh great! So if i Steal, then i am doing no wrong?
YES! When i am stealing, i am stealing because either
- I am in dire need for it, and have no money to buy it.
- I have the money, but hell.. why should i waste my money when i can steal it!
- She stole that from me, she should know how if feels to lose something (revenge hunh?).
- Dont blame me.. i am kleptomaniac, so it is justified if i gen 'pick' up things!

Hey not bad! so i can go ahead and steal! right?
NO! What about the person from whom you stole?
- She must have worked so hard to get it.
- She must have been so happy to gain it and losing it may pain her.
- Oh! it was a gift from a person i value the most. How can anyone steal it? (sob)
- God! It was so expensive. It was my bro's and he's gonna kill me!

Wait! Then what am i supposed to do? Should I be self-oriented and go for the 'YES' or should I be good and go for the 'NO'? There is always a choice, and I choose the 'NO'. I choose this choice not because i'm good, but because i know how it feels to lose things.

There is always and always a choice. And a little part of life is to make a choice (own or forced) and live it till its existence is significant.

--Shruti

Bob thinks

Bob thinks

Why is Equillibrium the most desirable state?

Luck!
Destiny!

Do these words have any meaning? Are these things really true?
So strange, a situation which seems mysterious, unexplainable and non-comprehensible, is told to be a consequence of Luck or Destiny!

WW - Wonder Why...?

I wonder why, I wonder why;
I wonder why I wonder;
I wonder why I wonder why;
I wonder why I wonder!

- Richard Feynman

Bob thinks

The swinging Pendulum continues swinging (and the time moves on).. the bob is heavy (why?).. it runs left to right and right to left.. its tired of running.. it wants to break free.. but the string restraints it.. so it continues to run.. what is its equillibrium? to get back to its mean position.. or to snap itself off, from the string? the bob has to make a choice.. i have made mine...

Understanding 'Point'

There is no word called 'Love'; there exist no Angels; Shadows are, but real; to Hope, is to sweep the 'dust' under the carpet, but the 'dust' still remains; and, I continue to live.. like an Alien (Do Aliens exist?). What's the 'point'? The problem is that there is no 'point'. A 'point' doesnt exist. POINT cant be defined.. POINT is, a virtual cluster of no-things.. but upon which everything is built...! [What's the point? POINT is the point. You have a point, I have a point, Who doesnt have a point?]

This is where I long to be...

Oh! This song "La isla bonita" always takes me back to Goa.

What a place! Its really so hard to not fall in love with goa.
"Japanese Gardens"! What a beach.. Can i ever forget that rock where i sat, watching the sun touch the horizon, the blue waters glistering in the evening sky? Can i ever see nething as beautiful as the waves hitting the rocks.. turning into foam and dissolving into oblivion? Can i ever forget the feeling of the wet sand sinking under my feet and the waves washing away the remnants of the impressions created? Can i ever forget the ride we took to reach there (Only myself and disha were there in the whole bus, along with another passenger who helped us with the directions)? Can I ever forget the cool breeze moistening our enthu, never lettin it go dry? Can i ever forget, the same cool breeze splashing itself on our faces, making us feel the power of nature?

"Sinquerim Beach"! Oh.. What a place.. Can I ever forget the muddy path leading to the fort, onlooking the sea? Can i ever forget the powerful wind reorienting our hair and flapping against my skirt? Can i ever forget the wet splashes of salty water making us smile and infusing enthu in us? Can i ever forget that lovely foreigner couple (who seemed pretty old agewise) enjoying the view of the sea? Can i ever forget the wild dance of the waves over the huge rocks.. jumping high.. creating a foamy pool in the rocky voids and yet again retreating back into the sea? Can i ever forget the music of the roaring sea, so very much crisp and fresh?

Can i ever.. ever in my life, forget the whole 2 months experience?

During those two months, We: myself and disha, went to Mumbai for 2 days, just to break the monotony that was born out of a predetermined routine. The bus took off at around 6 pm. It was a 14 hrs bus journey. but wow! what a journey! It was almost night when the bus bid adieu to goa, so it was pointless seeing outside as everything was pitch-dark. And now.. here comes my insomniac tendency! I woke up at 5 am, disha was sleeping, and wow! It felt like heaven! It had rained the previous night and so everything was looking so fresh and green. oh wow! Oh god! It was soo beautiful outside. Dint feel like taking my eyes off this abundance of beauty. The bus reached 'navi mumbai' at around 6 am. Our destination was 'Malabar Hills' (I dont know where it is, apart from this info: Its somewhere in/close to Central Mumbai). Rakshit, Disha's brother came to pick us up. The place where we were staying (in disha's mama's house) was sea facing and it was sooo pretty! We got a full view of the beautiful Arabian sea out through the window of the room, which we (Disha n me) were given.

There was a big chest like thing placed by that window, which became my favorite spot for full 1 night and the succeeding morning. It felt soo great starin at the sea for hours long.. thinkin nothing and staring at the sea. It was a real beauty..
Again woke up at around 5 in the morning and sat on that chest. There was this delta shaped rock which made the breaking waves take different directions when they came close to it. It was so great to see the waves coming from different directions yet eventually merging into a single entity and goin back to the sea. Slowly the dawn broke into mumbai and disha woke up. "Tum bahar kya dekhti rehti ho?". I wish *------* It was around 7 am or 8 am and that delta shaped rock had completely disappered into the sea, as if it never existed! The water level had risen and I got up to take bath...

Mumbai! Night never manages to creep in even at night. Its such a lively bustling place! Even at 11 pm (after our visit to an ex-BITS phy. prof's home in mumbai), the night dint seem to set in. Light drizzle had started to set in, at the bus stop and Rakshit told us to look above at the sky. Wow! The tiny droplets looked soo pretty when they made way to land on our faces. It was the prettiest thing (apart from sea viewing) that i experienced all through the stay in mumbai...

* I guess, its high time that I start studying for OT now! Enough of swimming in the past! :)

EDIT: I think that i kind of like this font better.

--Shruti